shoosh | [text] // oo5

YOU MORONS JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
HOW SMALL DO YOUR THINK PANS EVEN HAVE TO BE.
I'M FLUSHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER IN EMBARRASSMENT AT HAVING TO EXPLAIN THIS.
AGAIN.
FOR EVERY ONE OF YOU NEANDERTHRASHING FUCKWITS WHO MISSED IT
THIS IS YOUR GREATEST RESOURCE AND EVERYONE SHOULD READ IT.
BECAUSE BEING UNINTENTIONALLY HIT ON IS STILL PRETTY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE.
AS IS BEING INTENTIONALLY HIT ON.
AND BEING HIT ON IN GENERAL I GUESS.
WHICH IS A NICE SEGUE INTO MY NEXT POINT, THANK YOU KARKAT.
THE POINT OF THIS POST WAS TO ECHO MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT.
THAT PREVIOUS STATEMENT BEING:

NO INTERSPECIES SLOPPY MAKEOUTS.

UNDERLINED, ITALICIZED AND FUCKING BLINKING FOR GODDAMN EMPHASIS.
STICK TO YOUR OWN SHITMONGERING SPECIES.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

allies.livejournal.com

... Lloyd, I'm pretty sure you missed the entire point of this important announcement.

From:

redcladidealist

I did? You mean the points wasn't to tell us to stick to our own species?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

Romantically, douchebag. You're supposed to stick to your own species when it comes to romance and not have vaguely red dreams about poor susceptible future undead girls. You can let the disease called friendship infect whoever you want.

From:

redcladidealist

H-hey, it's not like people can control their dreams. [Brb, turning a little bit pink. Aauugh. Did everyone see his dream?] Besides, why does it matter what race or species someone is? If they both like each other, then that's the only thing that's important.

From:

allies.livejournal.com

Troll romance isn't the same as human romance. I'm saving you a lot of trouble here, the least you could do is be a little thankful.

From:

redcladidealist

Yeah, I know, it's more complicated and there's stuff with hate. [He's had loose descriptions of moirallegiance and kismesisitude given to him, so he's not completely in the dark.] But shouldn't those people be the ones to decide if they want to deal with that trouble?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

I was referring to the human emotion called love that trolls don't entirely understand and I'm not sure we even work that way, but I guess you have the basics of it.

It's my duty as the leader to look out for my team; if you're serious about this thing which I am not even sure is a thing, I'm not going to go out of my way to get in to yours. Though first I should probably be asking if the thing I'm thinking of is indeed a thing that needs to be worried about or if you're just fucking around.

Should I make an incredibly solid filter so nobody else can see to spare you some embarrassment or are you not affected by that bullshit?

From:

redcladidealist

Wait, what thing are you talking about? [All that vagueness lost him. What is this conversation even about anymore? Grammar?] A thing is a thing unless it's a person, or an action. I think. [It's been a while since those particular lessons were pounded into his skull.]

When did we start talking about school?

[Blink.]

...what's a filter? I mean, I know what one is, but how do you filter embarrassment?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ squint. ] ... What the fuck are you talking about? I'm trying to tell you that I'm going to ask you about Kanaya and wanted to know if you would rather I do it in a way where she won't see but you sure fucked that up, huh. Congratulations.

From:

redcladidealist

Oh. [Back to that awkward flush.] Hey, it's not my fault you're not being clear. What were you even asking anyway? Kanaya's not a thing.

How would she see any of this? She's not there with you, is she?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

My gaggle of deleterious morons always manage to stick their vertebrae columns where they don't belong, I'm sure it'd make it back to her somehow.

But if you don't care then you don't need to worry about that.

From:

redcladidealist

Your... dele... vibrating... Ugh, I give up. [He's going to stick to the parts he understood and ignore the rest of that sentence.] Can you just tell me what it is I don't care about?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

How do you feel about Kanaya? Is it something I need to be worrying about?

From:

redcladidealist

[Lloyd can honestly say he's never had anyone ask him that question that bluntly - bluntly enough that he actually gets what they're talking about. A bit more red starts to creep into his cheeks. Awkward what is this.]

W-well, she's my friend. I wouldn't ever hurt her. If that's what you're worried about, then you don't need to.

[Dodging the question? Y u p.]

Edited Date: 2011-08-17 11:48 am (UTC)

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ goodness lloyd, you even had a warning! ]

That isn't even what I asked! Are your feelings purely platonic or is there a hint of pity in there somewhere?

From:

redcladidealist

[We're talking about romatnic feelings here, Karkat. Lloyd is fail in this subject.

Still, finally! An easy question to answer! Even if it is a little strange.]

No way. I don't pity Kanaya at all. Well, unless you count her having to put up with Eridan, but that's something else. I pity you for that, too.

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ ... ]

You didn't read my troll romance memo, did you?

From:

redcladidealist

[Huh?]

What troll romance memo?

[Nope, no he didn't.]

From:

allies.livejournal.com

It's right fucking there!

From:

redcladidealist

[Oh, this is going to go well.]

Where?

[He looks around his room. Not that he has any idea how Karkat could put a memo in his room, but where else could he be talking about?]

I don't see anything.

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ ETERNALLY FACEPALMING YOU ARE WORSE THAN JOHN ]

Whatever, I guess I'll just explain it again. Consider yourself lucky that I'm well versed in the idiocy of the human think pan. I know that you don't actually pity me.

From:

redcladidealist

[H-hey, John grew up with computers. Lloyd hadn't ever even seen one until he was seventeen.

Oh, wait. It's not just computers he fails at worse than John. That's... pretty sad, actually.]

[Skeptical.] You think you know what I'm feeling better than I do myself?