shoosh | [text] // oo5

YOU MORONS JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
HOW SMALL DO YOUR THINK PANS EVEN HAVE TO BE.
I'M FLUSHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER IN EMBARRASSMENT AT HAVING TO EXPLAIN THIS.
AGAIN.
FOR EVERY ONE OF YOU NEANDERTHRASHING FUCKWITS WHO MISSED IT
THIS IS YOUR GREATEST RESOURCE AND EVERYONE SHOULD READ IT.
BECAUSE BEING UNINTENTIONALLY HIT ON IS STILL PRETTY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE.
AS IS BEING INTENTIONALLY HIT ON.
AND BEING HIT ON IN GENERAL I GUESS.
WHICH IS A NICE SEGUE INTO MY NEXT POINT, THANK YOU KARKAT.
THE POINT OF THIS POST WAS TO ECHO MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT.
THAT PREVIOUS STATEMENT BEING:

NO INTERSPECIES SLOPPY MAKEOUTS.

UNDERLINED, ITALICIZED AND FUCKING BLINKING FOR GODDAMN EMPHASIS.
STICK TO YOUR OWN SHITMONGERING SPECIES.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

redcladidealist

Oh. [Back to that awkward flush.] Hey, it's not my fault you're not being clear. What were you even asking anyway? Kanaya's not a thing.

How would she see any of this? She's not there with you, is she?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

My gaggle of deleterious morons always manage to stick their vertebrae columns where they don't belong, I'm sure it'd make it back to her somehow.

But if you don't care then you don't need to worry about that.

From:

redcladidealist

Your... dele... vibrating... Ugh, I give up. [He's going to stick to the parts he understood and ignore the rest of that sentence.] Can you just tell me what it is I don't care about?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

How do you feel about Kanaya? Is it something I need to be worrying about?

From:

redcladidealist

[Lloyd can honestly say he's never had anyone ask him that question that bluntly - bluntly enough that he actually gets what they're talking about. A bit more red starts to creep into his cheeks. Awkward what is this.]

W-well, she's my friend. I wouldn't ever hurt her. If that's what you're worried about, then you don't need to.

[Dodging the question? Y u p.]

Edited Date: 2011-08-17 11:48 am (UTC)

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ goodness lloyd, you even had a warning! ]

That isn't even what I asked! Are your feelings purely platonic or is there a hint of pity in there somewhere?

From:

redcladidealist

[We're talking about romatnic feelings here, Karkat. Lloyd is fail in this subject.

Still, finally! An easy question to answer! Even if it is a little strange.]

No way. I don't pity Kanaya at all. Well, unless you count her having to put up with Eridan, but that's something else. I pity you for that, too.

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ ... ]

You didn't read my troll romance memo, did you?

From:

redcladidealist

[Huh?]

What troll romance memo?

[Nope, no he didn't.]

From:

allies.livejournal.com

It's right fucking there!

From:

redcladidealist

[Oh, this is going to go well.]

Where?

[He looks around his room. Not that he has any idea how Karkat could put a memo in his room, but where else could he be talking about?]

I don't see anything.

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ ETERNALLY FACEPALMING YOU ARE WORSE THAN JOHN ]

Whatever, I guess I'll just explain it again. Consider yourself lucky that I'm well versed in the idiocy of the human think pan. I know that you don't actually pity me.

From:

redcladidealist

[H-hey, John grew up with computers. Lloyd hadn't ever even seen one until he was seventeen.

Oh, wait. It's not just computers he fails at worse than John. That's... pretty sad, actually.]

[Skeptical.] You think you know what I'm feeling better than I do myself?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

I know you're not interested in becoming my other concupiscent partner.

From:

redcladidealist

Hey, you don't know if...

...

What's "concupiscent"?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

The concupiscent quadrants are related to reproduction.

From:

redcladidealist

Wh-what?! I don't-!

Wait, you're a girl?!

From:

allies.livejournal.com

No, idiot! This is why you should have read the troll romance memo!

From:

allies.livejournal.com

Trolls don't differentiate by sex or gender like humans do. Even the idea sounds so fucking stupid you just know it's a human thing. But whatever, that doesn't matter here. Prepare to get soundly schoolfed on the subject of troll romance.

From:

redcladidealist

Then I definitely can't re... reproduce with you. [This time the stutter isn't because he's not familiar with the word. Bright. Beet. Red.] Because I'm definitely not a girl and you have to have a boy and a girl for... for babies...

[THIS IS SO AWKWARD WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT THIS]

I already know about sex!

[One of the most traumatizing talks of his life which he's tried very hard to forget!]

From:

allies.livejournal.com

We're not talking about sex, Lloyd! [ god don't make him go red too. ] We're talking about romance! Romance!

From:

redcladidealist

We're not? Oh. Oh, good. [So much relief, you don't even. He never wants to suffer through that talk again.]

So, uh, what were you trying to say?

From:

allies.livejournal.com

[ that makes two of them, jesus. ]

I was trying to cram the knowledge of troll emotions down your throat so you stop unintentionally hitting on us. You can't even deny that because I just experienced it first-hand, so sit down and clamp your regurgitating question trap.

We've already talked about hate I'm pretty sure, so I'll leave that out for now.

[ > Karkat: Be somewhat of a romance buff. ]

The two main emotions a troll experiences in relation to romance are hate and pity. But, we're not talking about hate, so let's talk about pity, which is the troll equivalent of your shitty human emotion called `love`. Pity is a big deal in our society and like I said, it's related to reproduction which we're not talking about. [ and also moirallegiance which we're not bringing up because the kid looks confused enough already. ]

Are you following me so far?

From:

redcladidealist

[Lloyd's brow furrows. He's trying to follow this, he really is, if for no other reason than sheer gratitude at changing the subject away from sex. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he can just wrap his mind around this concept.]

So pity... is like love? You mean you can't just feel bad for someone without it meaning something else?

[He gives Karkat a somewhat defensive look.]

Love isn't shitty. It's important, too.

From:

allies.livejournal.com

Our entire system of affection is something totally different. With you humans you have liking someone, liking someone and loving someone, right? With trolls, you have pitying someone, pitying someone and matespritship.

Important to you. It doesn't mean anything to me.