oo2 // filtered to terezi

[shoosh]

I SPOKE TO VRISKA.
THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE TALKING AND I DIDN'T REALIZE.
IT WAS KIND OF NICE FOR A WHILE, LIKE OLD TIMES.
PLAYFUL ANTAGONIZING BANTER.
AND THEN I REMEMBERED THIS FUCKING TIMELINE BULLSHIT.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE DID.
IN RETROSPECT IT WOULD PROBABLY HAVE BEEN BETTER IF I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
BUT I'M SICK OF HER.
I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF HER BALLERINA DANCING SHITSTAIN PIROUETTE ACT.
LIKE SHE COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING AGAINST JACK.
LIKE ANY OF US COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING AGAINST JACK.
I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY CHANGED FROM MEETING JOHN
BUT I WAS WRONG.
SHE'S STILL AS SELF-CENTERED AND SELFISH AS EVER.
SHE GOT EVERYONE KILLED.
THERE'S NO WAY ANY OF US COULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY FROM HIM ALIVE, ESPECIALLY AFTER BEING COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED LIKE THAT.
IT'S LIKE SHE SINGLE-HANDEDLY FUCKED US OVER WITH ONE WAVE OF HER GODDAMN FAIRY WINGS.
HOW DID I NOT SEE ANY OF THIS COMING?
I SHOULD HAVE KEPT AN EYE ON HER.
THIS IS SOMEHOW MY FAULT, I CAN FEEL IT.
THIS CAN'T BE THE END OF MY TIMELINE.
THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING I CAN DO.
I WANT HER TO KNOW ABOUT IT, EVEN IF IT HURTS
MAYBE THERE'S A SLIGHT CHANCE THAT SHE MIGHT WAKE UP BACK THERE AND RECONSIDER FLYING OFF TO GET THE LOT OF US KILLED.
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I'M A DOOMED KARKAT FROM AN OFFSHOOT TIMELINE, I'M STILL THE LEADER.
THAT ISN'T SOMETHING THAT JUST SUDDENLY STOPPED BEING TRUE.
UGH, WHY IS THIS SO HARD.
I THINK I'M RAMBLING.
I DON'T THINK I CARE.
MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS TO TALK TO YOU AND I'M NOT SURE WHY.
MAYBE I JUST LIKE IT WHEN YOU INDULGE MY PATHETIC WRIGGLER WHINING.